Shieldmaiden
by Thorkone
Summary: <html><head></head>Eira and Loki were all set for their happily ever after. But can you live happily ever after when you've married the god of lies? Sequel to Fallen Valkyrie</html>
1. Chapter 1

The wedding had been everything that a royal wedding should be. Ridiculously oppulent, too many guests, and too much attention directed at Eira. She found herself painfully self-conscious of her appearance, and the softness of her body sicne Leif made her think that all the eyes that were very much upon her were critical. Coupled with the small boy she went nowhere without, there was little doubt in her mind that people must think she had entrapped the younger prince into a marriage.

"You are over sensitive, Eira, and see slights where there are none," Loki reassured her from where he was stretched out on their bed, watching Leif explore.

"I have seen the way women look at me. As though I have tainted both princes. Twas not long ago I was known to be keeping Thor's company, and now I am married to you. Tongues wag, Loki," she sighed, folding the linens she used for diapering Leif.

"I will cut the tongue out of anyone who would suggest you are anything but the most virtuous and deserving princess in Asgard." His tone was black, and brooked no argument. Eira shook her head. Threats, as well meaning as they were, were not going to force the noble women of the royal city to accept her.

"Quiet your soul, Loki. It is not worth such rage," she reassured him. "We are together, as a family, which is as it should be."

He sighed heavily and laid a hand on her cheek. "Yes, my love, as always your cooler head prevails. We are a well made match."

Eira laughed, startling Leif, who was playing on the floor at her feet, determinedly unfolding each folded cloth. "I am uncertain that I can spend eternity cooling your temper, Loki. Perhaps you should learn to trust in the good of some people and not worry about the malice in others." She kissed his forehead and scooped up Leif in her arms, cooing over him. He was stumbling around the palace now, having found his feet mere days before the wedding, like a tiny warrior too much into his mead. He pushed against her, protesting against her kisses. She laughed again, and let him down carefully, placing him firmly on his feet. He staggered to the other side of the room, babbling the whole way.

Loki sighed. "I have lost a year of him. And you. I will never get that back."

"A year of broken sleep, frayed nerves and soiled linens, Loki," Eira soothed. She was well aware of what Loki had lost, and how quick he was to rail against the unfairness of it. She was growing to dread these melancholy turns of the conversation.

"Those moments are the ones that bind you as a family, Eira. And you shared them with Fandral." Loki did not whine, or snarl, he merely stated the truth. But it hurt Eira regardless.

"Loki." She was done going over the same issue over and over again. "Enough. I do not want to discuss this again. Yes, we lost a year as a family. Yes, Fandral was there. Yes, you missed twelve months of your son's life. But we will never get that time back. It is time to look at the present and plan for our future, and our son's future. Dwelling on what is past and gone will not make us strong together, it will just drive us apart. And we've only just begun, Loki. We have thousands of years ahead of us. What is one year in the grand scheme of life?" Eira was firm. Loki looked away.

"I am so used to being wronged, Eira," he began.

"But you were not the one wronged in this situation, Loki," she corrected, as gentle as she could manage. He nodded, and sat up, running a hand along her cheek.

"I know, love. I don't deserve you, and perhaps it's that knowledge that makes me dwell on what's past. I fear that you will awaken to how little worth I have. And I will lose you. And my son," he sighed.

"So live for today, Loki. And make me happy. Stop this talk," Eira implored. "We are young, we have a healthy son. You are the prince of Asgard. And I am your princess."

"And when you go a-viking again?"

"I will still be your princess. Your shieldmaiden princess," Eira laughed. "The Allfather did not release me. I am well past being able to ride with my sisters. It is time I reassumed my wings." Eira's favourite Midgardian myth about the Valkyries was that she and her shield-sisters had wings. When she'd told Loki about it, he'd loved the image, and painted a portrait of her, wings extended, healing a fallen warrior. She'd hung it in Leif's room, in awe of the secret talents she did not know her husband possessed.

"And should I die?" He teased. Eira smacked him with a pillow.

"I would weep as I carried you to Valhalla." She threw her forearm over her brow dramatically and flopped down beside him. Leif climbed up on the bed and wormed his way between them, clinging to handfuls of both their tunics. Loki laughed, a rich baritone that warmed Eira's heart. It was a sound that she lived for. Loki rarely laughed, and the relaxed sound was all the sweeter for its rarity. Leif squealed and climbed over onto Loki, proving that the lost year had no affect on the boy's adoration of his father. Loki lifted him to his chest and carried him into the nursery. Eira could hear his low voice talking to Leif, and Leif's cooed responses, which soon gave way to soft singing. Eira laid back on their bed and listened, not wanting to interrupt the quiet time Loki was taking with Leif. He was right, he had missed much in the year they were apart. And while Eira refused to accept the burden of responsibility for their separation, she still felt some guilt about keeping her son from his father.

She rolled onto her side, content, and was lulled to sleep by the sound of her husband soothing her son. She turned into his warmth without waking when he climbed into bed later.

XXX

Eira gasped and shot straight up in bed, her heart racing. She tried to catch her breath, but found she couldn't. She looked around the room, disoriented. Loki was sprawled, arms and legs everywhere, on his side of the bed, lost to sleep. She could hear nothing from Leif's room, but padded over and peered inside to reassure herself. The only sound was the gentle rhythmic sucking of his fingers as he slept. Eira took a deep breath and tried to loosen the tightness in her chest. She crept out into the hallway and padded down to the throne room, past vigilant Einherjar. Odin sat on the throne, motionless. He rarely slept at night. Eira dropped into a curtsey before approaching.

"You cannot sleep, child?" Odin flicked a glance at her as she settled on the floor beside the throne. There was always a stool to sit on, but Eira found it uncomfortable, and sitting at the edge of the throne offered her a place to lean her back. She only got away with such informality when there was no one in court.

"I woke with a start. My heart was racing, full of fear. Loki and Leif both slept on, undisturbed," Eira explained. Odin nodded. One of his ravens landed on his shoulder and chattered in his ear.

"You haven't felt the call in some time," Odin prompted.

"The call has never felt this," Eira paused, looking for the right word, "demanding. The weight on my chest is painful."

"Nevertheless, Huginn tells me there is war on Midgard. And it had been over long since you rode out. I would think that should you right out to Valkyriehús, you will find your symptoms subside." Odin looked worn thin. Eira nodded.

"I suspect you are right, Allfather," she agreed as she excused herself. She made her way back to her quarters and shook Loki gently to wake him. He groaned and rubbed his eyes.

"Eira, it is the dead of night, and I do not hear Leif," he moaned.

"I have felt the call. It pains me it is so strong. I must go," she whispered, leaning close. His arm snake around her and pulled her mouth against his.

"Be safe," he murmured between kisses.

"Silly boy," she chided. "A Valkyrie cannot die."

"But she can be wounded and cut to the quick," he reminded her, kissing her firmly one last time. He swatted her backside as she rose to leave.

XXX

Her armour was exactly where it had been left, over a year ago, after Brynhildr had forbidden her from further rides. Someone had been anticipating her return, however, as the rust had been scrubbed from it recently. It shone in the low candle light. Eira's heart hitched in anticipation, but true to Odin's theory, the pain had eased the closer she rode to Valkyriehús. The pinch in her chest eased completely as she pulled her arming tunic over her head, leaving her with just the nervous stomach of one who has not ridden into battle in too long.

"Eira! You have returned to us at last!" Kara threw her arms around Eira as she tried to fasted the buckles on the side of her breastplate. Eira laughed.

"When the call becomes a biting pain in your chest that makes you wish for death, it is time to answer it," she explained. "The pain only eased once my arming tunic was on."

"That's a brand of magic I've never encountered, Eira. Have Loki check you for curses when you get home. I've never felt pain from the call." Bryn gave her shoulder a slap in welcome.

"You've never ignored it, Bryn. I used to get pain before, it would get worse the more times I ignored the call" Eira explained. "But nothing on the scale of the pain that woke me tonight."

"I am glad it has eased then. And I am glad to have you back. You have been missed. Particularly on Midgard, where they feel their prayers fall on deaf ears." The was a little chastisement in Bryn's tone. Eira felt guilty for a moment.

"It's hard to remember how long a year must feel to them, who measure their lives in so few of them. It feels like yesterday that I was last healing their warriors," Eira sighed. "But I realize now it's been far too long." She pulled her helm on, and headed to the stable, mounting Fleygur and circling around to the rest of the women. Bryn led them to the Bifrost and on to Midgard.


	2. Chapter 2

The acrid smoke from the war field burned at the back of Eira's throat. She leaned over in her saddle and hooked the shoulder strap of a dead man's armour to pull him across her lap, mud slapping of Fleygur's flanks. Again and again, she repeated the motions, carrying the dead to Valhalla, restoring them at the gates and returning for their brothers-in-arms. It seemed to take longer than she remembered, but she had never had a small boy waiting at home for her to return, making her anxious to be done. She made note of where she sensed lives to be saved on the field and when the last of the dead had been carried away, she returned to the battle field once more, gleaning the field for signs of life.

She dropped into the mud beside a fallen horse, certain she could feel the life force of someone. The field was muddy, and in this spot in particular, she was nearly mired down to her knees. She rolled the horse and heard the weak cry for help. A young warrior pinned beneath the steed. The mud tried to hold him, but Eira tugged and pulled, finally winning against the slippery muck. She placed a hand on his forehead and the other on his heart and probed for injuries. His leg was crushed, and if she didn't mend it, the fat from the marrow would travel to his heart and stop it, too long after the battle to be considered for Valhalla's halls. He had a deep gash to his arm, the muscle severed nearly to the bone. She worked quickly on that wound before moving on to the leg, for she realized if he bled out through the arm, her work on the leg would have been for nothing.

Once the bleeding on the arm was under control, Eira switched her focus to his leg, feeling her way through the muscle, pulling all the fragments of bone back together. When she was satisfied they had knit enough that he could be moved and treated by a Midgardian healer, she waved one over.

"His leg is delicate, and will need splinting. It will take weeks to heal. His arm will need proper bandaging, with cleansing compresses." She waded through the mud to the next voice calling for help. It was a shieldmaiden, her helm knocked off, long blonde braid coated in mud, the spear that had injured her still through her chest. Her unfocused gaze cleared when Eira came to her.

"Are you here to carry me away or cure me," she asked, her voice barely a whisper. Eira laid a hand on her cheek.

"I hope to heal you. Rest, and let me work," Eira assessed the wound and found the lung punctured. There was little blood, meaning no major vessels had been injured. She laid a calming spell down, knowing the magic she would have to work to heal the woman would be painful. Slowly, she inched the spear back, and as the wound became open, healed each tear in the flesh, through the lung, until finally, she'd worried the spear free. She offered the woman a draught to ease the pain. She turned to call a Midgardian healer, and found one looking over her shoulder.

"How could she have survived that, Eir?" The healer asked.

"The lung would have remained flat, unable to inflate. She would have tired over-easy, and found basic tasks too difficult. She would have become dependent on the community to care for her, but she would have lived," Eira explained. "I can only heal those who will live. But those injured in these wars, they never really live again. They merely survive."

"We have lost many to these wasting wounds since last autumn." It was an accusation. "Many had lost faith."

"I never asked you to pray to me," Eira dismissed the comment. "I heal because I can. When I can. But I have other duties that require my time as well."

"I am sorry, Eir. Please, don't forsake us again because I spoke out of turn." The healer's voice shook. Eira stopped bandaging the wound on the shieldmaiden and faced the healer.

"Sigrid, yes?" Eira paused. The healer nodded. "If I forsook the wounded and sick each time I was offended or questioned, I would never have anyone to care for. I was born to heal the sick, the wounded, the diseased. The Norns wrote it in my lifebook before I could walk. Time passes differently in Asgard. It did not feel as long for me as it has for you. And for that, I am sorry."

"I did not believe it was you. When you first knelt to heal, I thought I was wishing you here," Sigrid explained. Eira laid a hand on her face.

"I am here. I will not leave again," Eira reassured the healer. She was not much more than a girl, Eira realized, sad at how quickly Midgard expected their young to reach adulthood. Sigrid placed her hand atop Eira's and smiled. Then, impulsively, she threw her arms around her, hugging her close. Eira couldn't help but laugh. She extricated herself carefully. "I must continue to heal, Sigrid. I have other duties to attend this night."

XXX

It had not been as long since she had served in Valhalla, but Jarni still crushed her to him when he saw her.

"I hear you are truly a princess now. Your shieldsisters, they will not tell the story, other than to say a grand wedding has occurred," Jarni pulled her down to sit on a bench between him and their father. "Tell me of it. And of my nephew."

"I am bonded. And wedded," Eira admitted. "And your nephew just past his first year. He walks, nay, he runs. He squeals, he laughs. He is the most beautiful thing in all the realms."

"And does young Thorsson have the look of his father, or does he take after our men?" Sigbjorn asked.

"I was not wed to Thor, Papa," Eira spoke slowly. "My shieldsisters did not tell you the story because there was no cause to alarm or anger you when there was nothing that could be done. I am wed to Loki."

Jarni put his tankard down on the table and narrowed his eyes. "And what did that trickster do to fool you into accepting his hand?"

"He loved me. He loves me." Eira's tone was firm. "And that is all you need take from tale, one year on from it. Our son is the image of Jarni, Papa. His hair is red as madder." She changed the topic swiftly. Sigbjorn wasn't diverted though.

"And is my daughter satisfied with the prince she has?" He asked.

"I love him, Papa," Eira reassured him. "And he has helped me harness my healing power, so I can be stronger."

"I will bring about Ragnarok myself if I should hear he has wronged you, Eira," Sigbjorn promised. Eira shook her head.

"Do not make promises you cannot keep, Papa. Loki is not easy to love. But I do love him. It is well." Eira rose and kissed her father on the forehead. She squeezed Jarni in a gentle embrace and returned to her duties, meeting Bryn at the mead casks.

"You held your seat well today for someone who hasn't ridden into battle in over a twelve-month. I was sure you would topple into the muck," Bryn teased.

"How much did you lose in your wager?" Eira winked. Bryn laughed.

"I owe Kara a new hangarok. The wagering may have got out of hand." The mischievous glint in Bryn's eye told Eira there was more to the story.

"And what would you have won?" Eira was incredulous. A hangarok was hours of hand sewing.

"A saddle blanket." Bryn grinned.

"I will be sure to thank Kara for having faith in me!" Eira laughed. Kara slipped an arm around her friend as she joined the women, kissing Eira on the cheek.

"I do have faith in you. I know dear Fandral worked with you on a number of things while you were in Vanaheim. I'm sure seating your horse was one of them," Kara laughed. Eira shook her head.

"He was more concerned with how I held my sword. Regardless, that was months ago. I haven't seen him since the wedding. How fares your romance?" Eira had that newlywed urge to see her dearest friends settled, despite how ridiculous it may have seemed had she said it aloud.

"His heart was in too many places. Fandral was," Kara paused, searching for a word, "perfection. While it lasted. But we are too much alike, and I distract easily. There's a remarkably broad set of shoulders that marched through Valhalla's doors, not long after the equinox."

"But that was only a sennight after we returned from Vanaheim!" Eira protested.

"Eira, it had run its course before he left to accompany you. It held on because we were apart, and could not end things," Kara smiled. "Truly, we are neither of us sad about it, Eira. Neither of us are the kind that settle down."

"Ah, but when young women are in love, they do want other young women to be settled in love as well, Kara," Bryn teased. Eira tried to pout, but she couldn't. It was as though she'd never taken time away from her calling, the way her friends welcomed her right back, laughing and joking with her. "Is it because I am an old hag that you do not try to settle me?"

"Yes, you are so frightfully hideous, Brynhildr. There truly is no hope," Eira tried to hold her face seriously and failed. Bryn offered her a cup of mead. The rest of the night passed in a blur. Eira fulfilled her duties with a happy heart, stopping more than once to reflect on how much she was enjoying herself.

She crept through the door to the bedroom just before the sun rose, after being gone a full day. She crawled into bed and snuggled into Loki's side. He rolled over in his sleep and held her close, not waking.

XXX

"But Father, she was gone a full day!" Loki protested. Odin sighed. Eira could see the muscle in his jaw twitch in irritation.

"Loki. You knew when you courted her that she was a Valkyrie. You knew when you set up your deception that she was a Valkyrie. You knew throughout her courtship with Thor that I had no intention of releasing her from that duty. So why would I release her now, merely because my other son is wed to her?" Odin asked.

"Because we have a son to raise, and he needs his mother as much as he needs me!" Loki yelled in response.

"And he gets his mother, whenever she is not called to serve. My son, you wed a Valkyrie. And you wed a goddess. And you knew. No one tricked you." Odin was remaining remarkably calm.

"But I have already lost nearly a year with her!" Loki was insensate to reason.

"The time of the gods is drawing to an end, Loki. Already, the Northmen pray to another. Those demands will be cut down soon. And they've conquered much land, which they need to settle and cultivate, lest they lose it. There are more peaceful times ahead. And so those demands will also be lessened. Eira will always have duties. But those are the very things that drew you to her. So why would you demand I make her cease the very activities that made you risk everything to love her?" Odin asked. Loki clenched his jaw and looked at his feet.

"Because I want her to myself. Just for a while," he admitted.

"Eira is not your possession, Loki. She is your wife," Odin sighed. "Be her husband. Respect her."

Eira could not look at Loki while he fought with Odin, choosing instead to listen while watching Leif. She knew the conversation was over, and seeing that Leif was stalking Odin's ravens, she scooped the boy up in her arms before one of them lost its patience with him, and pecked him.

"They know he means no harm, Eira. They survived both my sons," Odin reassured her.

"Either way, Allfather, it is better to teach him not to torment them," Eira curtseyed and excused herself from court. Loki came out of his sulk long enough to trail after her, but his mood was dark. "You are acting like a spoiled child, Loki."

Leif was nuzzling her, sucking his fingers, and she laid him gently in his crib before returning to the sitting room. Loki stood, glaring out the window. He turned to face her.

"Refuse to answer," he demanded.

"I was in physical pain last night, Loki. I am not going to hurt myself to pander to a spoiled prince," Eira snapped. Loki's eyes widened at the insult.

"You –"

"No, you don't get to voice your displeasure again. I heard enough when you spoke to the Allfather. We have been married less than a month, Loki, and already you are making demands you knew would never be met long before we married. I am a Valkyrie. You knew that before you loved me." She tried to keep her voice low. Loki slammed his fist into the wall, causing her to flinch.

"But you were gone a full day!" He protested.

"And sometimes, when the battles rage on, I can be gone for many nights!" Eira shot back.

"How do I manage Leif when you are gone for so long? He wept for you, and there was naught that I could do to comfort him." His voice was gentle, barely above a whisper. Eira sighed and walked across the room to him. She took his balled fist, and worked her fingers under his, until it relaxed. She traced her thumb on the palm.

"Is that what this is about? You had trouble managing with Leif?" She asked. His shoulders slumped, and he met her gaze. His eyes were filled with unshed tears.

"I want to be a good father, Eira. But I couldn't comfort him. He wanted you." The frustration and sadness in Loki's tone made Eira want to cry herself. She stepped close to Loki, and rested her hands on his chest.

"You are a good father, Loki. Tonight when he fusses, I will show you all the tricks, and you can settle him. It takes practice," she reassured him.


	3. Chapter 3

Loki was bouncing Leif on his knee, cooing and begging him to settle. Leif's lower lip was rigid and his sobs were showing no signs of slackening off. Eira sighed from the doorway to the nursery.

"Less bounce, Loki," she directed. Loki's knee slowed to a more sedate ride, and Leif's cries quieted, just a little. "Now the song."

"I don't sing, Eira." Loki's protests fell on dear ears.

"He won't settle without it." She crossed her arms and leaned against the doorjamb. Loki sent a dark look in her direction and hummed quietly. Leif stopped crying, more out of surprise than anything else. He looked at his father, his eyes wide, and reached for Loki's mouth. He rested his fingers on Loki's lips, feeling the vibration against his hand. He reached for Loki with his other hand, and Loki pulled Leif close, rocking him and humming. Eira smiled at the picture of her boys and stepped out of the room.

She was reading from a book when Loki emerged a while later. He moved a chair from the far side of the table she was working at to sit beside her, and read over her shoulder. He sighed. More potions for healing. Eira knew he was frustrated, but Odin had been right to remind him that she had not changed since he'd fallen in love with her. He traced his fingers along the exposed skin on her shoulder, sweeping her hair to one side. Ever since the wedding, the ladies in waiting had been encouraging her to leave it down. It was impractical and in the way most of the time, but she left it down when she was going to visit court. Loki's cool lips came to rest on her neck, trailing light kisses from her ear to her shoulder. She squirmed away, giggling.

"You tickle me," she chastised. Loki left a moist kiss at the crook of her neck, murmuring soft words of love. The air from his speech swept across the damp kiss, sending tingles down her spine. She writhed away and took his face in her hands. "Loki."

He cut off anything else she might have said with a gentle kiss. "Thank you, my love." His eyes shone with unshed tears. Eira's heart pinched in her chest.

"You will be a good father, Loki. Be patient. With yourself as much as with Leif." Eira allowed him to lead her to bed.

XXX

Eira shot up in bed again, days later. She sighed and rolled over. It was not the call to battle she felt. She listened for Leif, but it was not her son that had pulled her from her sleep. She reached out for Loki and found his side of the bed was vacant. She sat up again, and squinted in the darkness, looking for his dark outline against the moonlight cascading through the curtains across their balcony. He was leaning against the demi wall, looking out into the night. She padded over to him, wrapping her arms around him from behind and laying her head on his back.

"Can you not sleep?" She asked. Loki sighed.

"Do you not hear it?" He asked.

"Hear what?" Eira strained in the darkness, but only the sound of the wind reached her ears.

"They pray to you. From Midgard. How do you not hear it? It is overwhelming, their chatter," he complained, turning in her arms and resting his chin on her head. His own arms sought the warmth of her body, and he held her close.

"Midgard is not noisy tonight, Loki. I hear the usual prayers; prayers for good health, prayers for recovery from minor wounds. But they are not loud tonight." Eira sighed. "It blends in, becomes white noise. They pray from deliverance from things I cannot or will not resolve for them. After a while, I no longer hear the specifics. I hear the prayers that come from real need. But there are none of those tonight."

"And why must I hear them?" Loki bit, his tone bitter.

"Because you are too focused. Because we are bound to one another. Because we are together so much. I know not, love. I can only hope that you'll come to hear only the important prayers as well," Eira shrugged. Loki was tense in her arms. She rubbed his back and laid her face against the bare skin of his chest. "You are angry."

"How long did it take?" He asked. "Before the prayers turned to background noise?"

"A few months. Less probably." Eira slid her hands up into the hair at the nape of Loki's neck. "Come back to bed. I will make you forget."

"When did my wife become so brazen?" The corner of Loki's mouth turned up as she led him back to their bed.

"My dear husband. You have married a Valkyrie. Have you not heard the tales from Midgard? We take whichever men we want. Whenever we want. However we want." She pulled him down to the mattress, laughing when his head smacked into hers. When his lips met hers, her laughter was silenced. Eira slid her hands under his tunic, pushing it up his back. Loki pulled his arms out one at a time, and broke away from her long enough to pull the tunic over his head and throw it across the room. His hands fumbled with the brooches on her hangarok, until laughter bubbled up from Eira again. She pulled away and made quick work of removing the brooches and festoons, dropping them gently on the floor. Loki smiled as the soft linen of the hangarok fell open. His hands slid down her hips as his mouth found hers again, searching for the hem of her tunic. He tugged at it, distracted again by Eira's insistent kisses. He finally pulled away and assisted Eira out of her tunic. She laid back on the bed, letting him take in the gentle swell of her belly, the once angry marks where Leif had stretched her skin finally fading. He was continuously astonished at the confidence she gained each time they coupled. Gone was the shy girl who had been embarrassed of her body when they'd first lain together.

Before he had a chance to fully get lost in the contemplation of his wife's increased beauty and the correlation between that and her confidence, Eira tugged at the ties on his breeches, and pulled him back to her as they fell open. Her skin was hot against his, and Eira could feel goosebumps rising on her arms and chest where his much cooler skin touched her. His hands slid from her hips to her waist. He pressed his hips to hers and she shivered. His hand found her breast, his fingers spread wide to cup its fullness. His thumb rubbed across her nipple and she sighed against his mouth.

"Don't make me wait tonight, Loki," she breathed into his ear. He groaned and shifted his hips. He slipped a hand under her thigh and tilted her hips to gain purchase as he pushed slowly against her. Eira let out a quiet moan as he entered her, and her breath hitching as he started to rock his hips against her. Eira dug her fingers into his back and wrapped her legs around his thighs, pulling him closer. Eira tugged on Loki's lip with her teeth and he groaned against her mouth. She moaned as his speed increased, rocking her hips in response. Loki let out a noise she could only describe as a growl and thrust harder against her, losing himself to the sensation of her legs rubbing against his, and her breasts crushed to his cool chest. Eira could feel him thickening inside her and sighed her own release when he cried out against her shoulder, collapsing against her.

"You are my everything, Eira. I will never wrong you again," he kissed her shoulder as she slipped out of bed to wash. When she returned to bed, Loki pulled her close, settling his chin against her shoulder. "I love you, darling."

"And I you, Loki." Eira lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed it. She let him slide it back to cup her breast and fell asleep to Loki's rhythmic breathing against her shoulder. She didn't waken when he slipped from the bed.

XXX

The late morning sun was streaming across their bed when Eira wakened. She listened for Leif, but could hear nothing. She rose and pulled a tunic on as she padded to the nursery. She crept in quietly, and saw Leif sleeping soundly. He'd obviously been up and changed, but was down for his morning nap. She backed out of the room as quietly as she'd entered and looked around the rest of their rooms for Loki, but could find him nowhere. Rather than go looking for him, she opted to return to her studies, searching out more uses for the various medicinal plants of Asgard. The Allfather had complained of sore shoulders the last time he'd lifted Leif into his arms, and Eira knew there was something she could compound to help ease his pains.

Loki crept in without disturbing her, carrying a trencher loaded with food. He placed it on the table beside her, causing her to jump.

"I had hoped to surprise you with breakfast in bed," he admitted with some disappointment. Eira squeezed his hand.

"I would have slept the day away had the sun not wakened me," she admitted.

"Then I will move the bed so it does not happen again," he promised. Eira laughed and shook her head.

"I would not want to sleep all day, love." She looked at Loki, and saw bags under his eyes. "But perhaps you should have slept later. When did you rise?"

"I am fine, Eira. It is difficult to rest well with an insatiable Valkyrie in my bed." He kissed her forehead, a teasing tone in his voice. Eira snorted.

"Perhaps you'd like to take a nap now, while Leif sleeps? Since I am so insatiable? You never know, I may attack you and demand satisfaction." She rolled her eyes. Loki let out a loud bark of laughter.

"Fandral was drinking with Thor last night and asked after you. He says he's been low with illness since they returned from Alfheim a fortnight ago. You might need to mend him." Loki kissed her forehead. Eira visibly perked up.

"I haven't seen him in too long. Does he stay at the palace? Where would I find him?" Eira didn't notice the scowl that marred Loki's handsome features, wrinkling his brow. "I should wait until Leif wakes. Fandral will want to see him, and play uncle."

"I'm sure you will find him in the dining hall. The works of them were there, recovering." Loki sat on the stool beside Eira and passed her a piece of cheese. She chewed and stared at the wall, lost in thought.

"Do you know where I could find wild arnica near the palace?" Her question startled Loki, who had convinced himself that she was thinking about Fandral.

"There is some in mother's garden. Why?"

"The Allfather has pain in his shoulders, I want to help him." Her words were simple. Loki realized he was a fool for assuming complexities in his wife that did not actually exist. Eira returned to her contemplations, pausing occasionally for another bite of food. When Leif finally wakened, she realized Loki had absented himself from their rooms again and felt a flash of guilt for becoming so lost in her healing that she didn't realize he'd gone. While she changed Leif, she heard him return.

"Arnica. You are low on beeswax. I had planned to ride today, I can stop at the market," he offered when she came out of the nursery. Eira set Leif down to play and kissed Loki's cheek.

"Thank you, love."

XXX

Leif squealed and ran toward Fandral as soon as he toddled into the great hall. His chubby legs carried him forward, arms outstretched. Fandral squatted down and took the baby tackle with grace. He lifted him in his arms, allowing the boy to cover his face with wet, sloppy kisses as Eira rushed forward.

"Fandral, I'm so sorry. He hasn't learned to kiss with his mouth closed," Eira apologized and held her arms out to take Leif back. Fandral shook his head and kissed Leif's forehead in return.

"I haven't seen him in nearly a month and he remembers me! What a smart lad!" He gently removed Leif's fingers from his beard, and let him slide down onto his hip. Leif was distracted by a shiny medallion hanging from Fandral's neck and started picking it up and trying to feed it to Fandral. Eira laughed and lifted the boy from her friend's arms.

"He adores you. More than he does Thor, I think." Eira chose not to mention that Leif had seen more of Fandral than he had his uncle, which explained his lack of fondness for Thor. Fandral was wise enough to puzzle out the message, despite it being unsaid.

"So Thor still sulks. He speaks as though he has moved on, but I think he feels the betrayal of Loki very keenly," Fandral explained. Eira sighed as Leif struggled to break free from her grasp, and allowed that he could run and explore. She seated herself on a cushioned bench and dropped her elbows to her knees, keeping a careful eye on her small boy.

"Thor needs to stop seeing me as a possession that he lost. If he were only hurting himself, it would be one thing, but he has not spoken to Loki since before the wedding. Brothers should not be at odds." Eira was frustrated. "I would give anything to have my brother still alive. Loki never speaks of it, but he sleeps poorly, creeping out of our bed when I am asleep. I'm sure only Heimdall knows where he goes."

"I spent much of the trip to Alfheim trying to talk some sense into him, Eira. He will come around," Fandral reassured her, and turned to pull a partially full tankard from Leif's grasp just as the toddler was tipping it to his mouth. "That is stale and was not a good ale to begin with, my boy. Uncle Fandral will see that you learn what it worth drinking. When you are older." Leif's face crumpled, and he looked about to cry, but Fandral handed him a bowl of berries from the table, instantly placating him. Eira admired the ease with which Fandral interacted with Leif. She knew she shouldn't compare his demeanour with Loki's, but Loki always seemed so uncomfortable, uncertain and awkward with his son, despite the demands that he be involved. Fandral, on the other hand, was just as easy and fluid in his interactions with Leif as he was with Eira, or any of his other friends. Almost as though he saw Leif as a very small friend. Eira said as much, causing Fandral to laugh.

"He is very much like any other warrior in Asgard after too much drink. He stumbles, he falls, you can't understand what he says, and he wants to shower you with brotherly affection," Fandral explained. "I've spent my life with men just like Leif is now."

"Surely you don't mean me, shield-brother," Thor's voice filled the room, and he stepped forward to join Eira and Fandral. Eira smiled in greeting and was surprised when Thor returned the smile with genuine good nature that even reached his eyes. He sat on the bench opposite Eira and watched Leif stumble across the room, exploring. "He is handsome, Eira. He looks like your father."

Eira couldn't hold back her smile. "Do you think? I was hoping so." Eira neglected to mention that Loki had suggested that he may grow up to look more like Thor because he was conceived while Loki wore Thor's appearance. This détente was unexpected, and she did not want to say or do anything that would cause Thor to regret making the friendly move.

"If he winds up as broad as your father, he will be a fine warrior. We will have to start him with a sword early." Thor's gaze never left the boy. Eira looked up at Fandral, who was leaning against the table smiling at Thor. His eyes flicked over to Eira and he winked. Eira felt hopeful. Fandral understood, probably better than anyone else, Eira's concerns about the effect of the estrangement of the two brothers.

"Not too early though, Thor. Let him be a baby a while longer," Eira smiled. Thor nodded, his eyes meeting hers again.

"You are looking well, Eira. I heard you are riding with your sisters again?" It was the first time Thor had attempted more than a cursory greeting to her in months. She nodded, almost too stunned to find words. She looked to Fandral for guidance, but he had been distracted by Leif, and was moving to follow the boy through the hall. She looked back at Thor and nodded.

"Yes, we were on Midgard just a sennight ago. It feels different somehow. Their healers are bolder, certainly, chastising me for my absence," she laughed. Thor bristled.

"How dare –"

"No, Thor, they are right to ask. I was absent too long. I have a twofold responsibility to them, both as a Valkyrie and as their goddess," Eira interrupted. "And it was I who chose to be their healer." Thor sighed and sat back on the bench.

"I had not considered it that way. How does Loki fare?" The change of topic was abrupt, and Eira realized that it was the entire reason for Thor's continued conversation.

"He sleeps poorly. He loves his son, but he struggles. We were apart for too long and he has missed learning Leif's needs and wants. My fault again." Eira felt the burden of blame every time Loki didn't know what to do with Leif. Thor opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a shriek of laughter from Leif. They both looked over to where the sound had come from and saw Fandral kneeling over Leif, tickling his ribs. Anytime Fandral stopped, Leif would stop laughing, wait a moment and tug Fandral's fingers to his ribs again. Thor looked back to Eira and was silent for a moment.

"You were in Vanaheim how long?" He asked. Eira looked at the ceiling to count.

"Six months, about. A lifetime for a new babe," she admitted. Thor let out a huff of air.

"But to us, nothing. You need to cease accepting the blame for everyone else's failings, Eira. Loki has always cast about to shift blame. You should not be guilty for his failings as a father," Thor asserted. "I may not have loved you, and I understand what you meant now when you said it, but even I would not blame you for doing what was right for your family, Eira. In the aftermath of Loki's betrayal, it is a wonder you tried to stay here at all. And a credit to your sensible nature that you came back. Never forget that Loki tricked us both, and that you paid the ultimate price." There was steel in his words. Eira glanced back at Leif.

"He is a beautiful and sweet ultimate price, Thor."

"Loki is fortunate to have such a forgiving woman. When I finally fall in love, I hope she is as good as you are, Eira." Thor rose from the bench and stepped toward her. Eira rose out of habit for the departing prince, still not used to her place as a princess. He stopped in front of her and placed a hand on her cheek. "You are too good for either of us." He dropped a kiss to her forehead before turning and leaving the room. Eira stood in stunned silence until Leif let out another peal of laughter, breaking her trance.


	4. Chapter 4

"I told you he would come around." Fandral was smug. Coupled with the stooped walk he adopted as he chased Leif, Eira couldn't help but laugh.

"He is still angry with Loki," Eira countered. Fandral scooped Leif in his arms and stepped over the bench to sit down beside her. Leif crawled over his shoulder and reached for Eira, who was holding her hands out to the boy.

"Aye. That is going to take longer to blow over, Eira. Understandably." Fandral gave her a pointed look. Eira nodded.

"But they are brothers, Fandral."

"Isn't is always a woman?" He winked. She rolled her eyes and stood.

"I should find Loki. He'll think you've stolen me away," she laughed. Leif reached for Fandral again, his cheerful smile falling away. Fandral rose as well, and rubbed his nose against Leif's.

"Now, now, my boy. Be strong. Uncle Fandral will be here for a while, and anytime Mummy needs a break, you can come play," he cooed. Leif's smile returned, and Fandral looked over the ginger curls to make eye contact with Eira. "Truly, Eira. There is peace for now. Should you and Loki need time together without Leif, I would be happy –"

"No, Fandral. Loki needs to understand that there is to be no courtship here. We are wed, we have a child. There are no child-free escapes. He chose that for both of us. I appreciate the offer, but Loki needs to learn to cope." Eira felt guilty saying it, but she wanted Loki to be able to stand on his own as a parent. He would need to be able to, since she was to remain a Valkyrie.

"The offer stands. Anytime, Eira. He is a sweet boy."

Eira shook her head, a smile creeping across her features. "Who would have thought it would be Fandral who loved children so well? Fandral, the eternal bachelor, playing uncle to the littlest prince."

"Don't tell anyone. I'll be dragged off to the altar before I realize what has hit me," Fandral laughed. "Truth be told Eira, I love Leif. But I'm not over-fond of other children."

"I think he is lovelier than other children, Fandral, but he is mine and I have a mother's bias. Despite that, I don't know why you think higher of him than other children," she laughed with embarrassment. Fandral kissed Leif's forehead and then pressed his lips to her own forehead.

"Must be my fondness for the biased mother, then," he teased. Eira scoffed.

"Oh please!"

"Truly and sadly, you are immune to my charms. You are well-loved, Princess." He leaned in to kiss her forehead again, and froze, his lips just a fraction away from her head. He stepped back and nodded over her shoulder, suddenly awkward. Eira saw the rigidity in his posture and turned, meeting Loki's cold stare head on.

"She is well-loved, Fandral. By her rightful husband, an heir to Asgard," Loki snarled. Eira flinched. Leif tensed in her arms, and threw his chubby arms around her throat, burying his face in hair she'd left loose. She could hear him sucking his fingers.

"Yes, that is what I was just saying. You must make your wife happy, Loki, that she can be so completely oblivious to my flirtation," Fandral's easy laugh was not strained, and Eira could feel the tension leaving her as he didn't rise to Loki's bait. Loki quirked an eyebrow at Fandral, and then the stiffness melted from his posture.

"I am a fool for doubting either of you. Fandral, you have always been honourable with Eira. Accept my apology," Loki sighed. "I haven't been sleeping, and have always been prone to suspicion."

Fandral pulled Loki into a relaxed embrace. "A little mead, mixed with Valerian, and you will be sleeping soundly in no time. Eira taught me that when I couldn't settle after I was wounded with that cursed blade."

"Perhaps I will try that then. If you'll excuse us, Fandral. I must have an audience with my wife." Loki held out a hand to assist Eira to her feet. She gave him a confused look and called Leif to her before trailing after him back to their rooms. Loki poured her a glass of mead while she settled Leif for his nap. He was pacing in front of the table filled with her medical volumes when she came out of the nursery. He walked towards her with purpose and took her hand wordlessly. He led her to the edge of their bed and gestured for her to sit, then knelt in front of her.

"What is going on, Loki?" Eira's brow wrinkled. "You emanate tension."

"I am –" he paused and huffed out a deep sigh. "I find myself –" He trailed off again. Eira smiled, and took his hands in hers.

"Just speak, Loki. Without concern for how you say it."

"I need to go," he blurted, almost before Eira had finished speaking. Eira flinched.

"Where?"

"I just need to go. I have an itch, and before you, when I would feel the pull to wander, I could just go, and be gone. But with Leif, and you, I've been trying to stay, but I cannot sleep, I have no appetite. I'm a terrible husband, and a worse father. But I need to go, Eira." The words came in a rush. Eira recoiled as though she had been slapped.

"Is it something I have done?" She blanched. She hadn't felt that she was needy, but going from the freedom to do whatever he chose to being saddled with both a wife and a child might have been too much.

"No, Eira, that's what I am trying to say. I have always been this way. I need isolation, at times. Just enough that I can focus my magic, focus my thoughts. Father will tell you, I've often gone and taken leave of court and Asgard. I have been trying to ignore the pull because of you and Leif." Loki leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. "I would not go, but my health is suffering."

"Loki, I will not lie to you. I do not want you to go. You are only just becoming comfortable with your son," Eira began. Loki drew in his breath to protest, and Eira laid her hand across his mouth to silence him. "But I have noticed how you are never in bed unless it is to make love. Your colour is poor; you've purple beneath your eyes. I have been trying Valerian in your evening mead with no effect. If you feel this will restore your health, you must go. I have your mother. Your brother is speaking to me again. I have my sisters. It will be well, so long as you are restored."

"I am always taking from you, Eira. I truly do not deserve you." Loki kissed her again. Eira nodded.

"On that you are correct, my prince," she laughed. "How soon will you go?"

"I would like to leave tonight." He was asking her permission. She nodded.

"I need to ride to Valkyrjahús before you go. I can be saddled and gone immediately." Eira rose and gathered her small sack before turning back to Loki. "I will be back before Leif wakes."

XXX

Eira hadn't bothered to change into clothing more appropriate to riding, but instead hitched her skirts to mid-thigh as she mounted Fleygur. She galloped out to Valkyrjahús as fast as the horse would carry her, and rather than stabling him, she tied his reigns to the post by the main door. She headed directly to the armour room, knowing the women would be polishing dull steel, or sharpening blades, as they always did when the peace lasted too long. Bryn leapt to her feet when she saw Eira, dropping the leg armour she had been polishing.

"Sister! There has been no call," she hugged Eira close. Eira returned the embrace.

"I have need of something from my kit," Eira explained. "Loki is going off world for a journey, and I am in need of a durable memento. Who knows what trouble he will get up to. A scrap of my skirt will hardly suffice."

She headed to her armour stand and unlaced the bronze plates of her torso armour, intending to take one from the skirt. Her hands stilled and she re-laced the loosened plates, instead pulling a dagger from her boot, and cutting one free from elsewhere on the armour. She slipped it into her sack before turning to leave.

"Surely you aren't leaving already?" Kara complained. "We haven't visited. I haven't told you about Hrist and your brother!" Eira stopped dead in her tracks, and spun to face her friends.

"Hrist and my brother?" She asked, staring pointedly at Hrist. Her friend flushed and looked away.

"It just kind of happened, Eira. Last time we were in Valhalla," she offered. Eira let out a loud laugh and shook her head.

"Of course it did." She shook her head. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Oh yes."

"Then you can tell me all the details when I come for a visit, tomorrow. But today, I need to ready my husband for his journey," Eira smiled. She turned to head back to Fleygur.

"You'd best bring that boy of yours, Eira!" Bryn called after her. Eira waved in acknowledgement and spurred Fleygur back up to a gallop. She reined her horse in at the hilltop behind her mother's lands, where Loki had first shown her the power of her magic. She slid from Fleygur's back and sat, cross-legged, at the peak of the hill.

Eira laid the bronze plate on the grass in front of her, and then focused her magic. She had never used it for anything but healing, but she hoped that because her intentions were pure, the strange spell that had popped into her mind as soon as Loki had announced his need to travel would work. She dropped a few small slivers of a number of roots on top of the plate, and cupped her hands over the items. She pushed safety, strength, and love through her hands, and the roots, into the plate. A quick flare of heat made her pull her hands away, and she saw the roots had burned. When she brushed the blackened remains out of the way, they'd left a scar on the metal that looked a little like the first rune of her name had been combined with the first rune of Loki's name. Satisfied that her spell had worked, she collected the plate back to her sack and remounted Fleygur for the ride home.

She strode back into the palace from the stables, and reached their rooms just as she heard Leif stir to crying from his nap. Loki was nowhere to be seen. She sighed and headed to the nursery, only to find Leif standing at the edge of his crib, watching Loki, who was sleeping in the chair beside the crib, a forgotten book in his lap. Eira's heart softened. As hurtful as she was finding Loki's departure, she had been worrying about him. She pressed a finger to Leif's mouth to hush him and lifted him from his bed.

She was stretched out beside Leif on the floor, helping the drowsy boy play with a small wooden horse and longship when Loki shot out of the nursery, alarm etched across his pale features. He strode into the room, and when his eyes fell on Eira and Leif, he stopped, placing a hand against his chest.

"I don't know what I thought, but I woke and Leif was gone," he started, collapsing into the chair nearest him. Eira nodded.

"I didn't want to wake you." She gathered Leif's toys and rose, hoisting the boy to her hip. "Maybe he will fall asleep now that he's not got someone to try to wake up."

When she returned from the nursery, Loki had removed his boots, and loosened the tie at his collar. His long legs were stretched out in front of him. He held a small mead cup up to Eira, and when she took it, tapped the edge with his own. "Health."

"Strength," Eira countered. She settled in beside him, nestling under the crook of his arm. Careful not to spill her drink, she placed it beside her before she rummaged in her sack for the bronze plate from her armour. She pulled it free and placed it in his lap.

"What is this?" Loki asked. Eira knew that he recognized what it was, that he was asking what it meant.

"That is from my armour," she offered. Loki reached for it, and when he grasped it, immediately dropped it.

"You've enchanted it." He traced a finger along the marking the spell had left, slowly wrapping his hand around it. She could see the tendons on the back of his hand raise as he grasped it. "It's very basic, Eira. But strong. How did you learn this?"

"Healing is not but protection after the fact, Loki. Rather than attempting to cure harm, I have just charmed it to prevent harm." Eira shrugged. The spell had come, unbidden.

"As a novice to forms of magic other than healing, you should not have been able to work a spell so strong, Eira. Even some of your healing magic is not this strong. There must be more to it. Did someone help you?" Loki's tone was curious, and without accusation. Eira smiled.

"My healing magic is strongest for those I love. Healing magic draws on love, empathy, compassion," Eira explained. It was insight she'd discovered on Vanaheim. Loki leaned back and gazed down at her.

"But this is so strong, it burned and then bound itself to me," Loki breathed.

"Is it so hard to believe I could love you?" Eira laughed.

"I have lived in a shadow my entire life. I pulled you from his golden light to take as my own. I struggle to soothe my son, and am about to run from every trouble I have and abandon you. I do not deserve the love you are so freely offering." He looked away, his eyes filling with tears.

"And yet I love you. And I would see you home again soon," Eira took his chin in her hand and turned it back to force him to see her. "It is time you accept that you are deserving of love. And if you still feel unworthy of it, rise to the place where you can be proud to take my love freely. I hope you find peace while you are away, husband. You will be missed."

Loki leaned down and kissed her softly. "My bed will be cold tonight without you," he murmured against her lips.

"Then take me there now and be warm for the last time before you go. You can depart on the morrow," she whispered back. "But stay tonight, and try to leave me with another babe in my womb."


	5. Chapter 5

Eira awoke to sunlight streaming across her, and knew without question that she was alone. She could hear Leif cooing and singing from the nursery, and rose to attend him. She pulled her tunic off the floor and pulled it over her head as she padded across the room. Loki had been frantic with need as they made love, and her clothes were scattered across the room, where he'd tossed them as he'd undressed her. She rubbed her face and yawned before picking up Leif and giving him a kiss. He squealed and pressed his own lips against her face in a messy display of affection.

"Come. Let us go find some food." Eira changed his wet diaper and scooped him back up in her arms.

"Mmmmmm." Leif's response was appropriate, but Eira wasn't sure if he actually knew that. She sat him on her lap and waited as they were served breakfast. It was quiet, no one else was out for the meal yet, and Leif's giggles as he ate filled the room, echoing off the walls. Frigga entered and Eira struggled to her feet to bow.

"I have told you over and over Eira, there is no need for you to offer reverence to me. We are family," Frigga chastised gently.

"Those closest to you should offer you the most respect, to ensure the rest understand the regard you are held in," Eira argued. Frigga kissed her forehead and lifted Leif from her arms.

"For a woman who grew up away from court, you certainly have some strong opinions about courtly life," Frigga commented.

"Mother chose to stay away from court to focus on serving your populace, but she knew that at some point I would need to attend court, and ensured I was properly educated," Eira acknowledged.

"Your mother has always been a woman of strong principles. And a blessing to every Aesir. You ride out to her daily, do you not?" Frigga asked. Eira nodded.

"She loves Leif greatly. And had never anticipated being a grandmother." Eira had no qualms about spoiling Leif with her mother's affection. He would eventually know the story of his conception, and she wanted him to be able to look back on his childhood and never doubt how much he was loved. Frigga waved away the attendants and sat, gesturing that Eira should as well. She placed her free hand on Eira's knee and leaned close.

"Loki has gone, hasn't he?"

"Yes, he left sometime in the night," Eira admitted, her eyes filling with tears.

"And you are hurt." Frigga concluded.

"How can I not be? Leif and I are not enough to make him happy. He seeks comfort elsewhere." Eira dashed the tears from her cheeks in embarrassment. Frigga brought a hand up and still Eira's.

"Loki has always been mischief personified, Eira. He makes a show of taking little in life seriously, but I know my son, and he takes everything to heart deeply. He bottles his emotions and buries his wounds until he not longer can sleep, eat, function. And then he goes away, usually only for a few weeks, and he slays whatever demons haunt him. He comes home happy, strong, well-rested. And the cycle begins again," Frigga offered. "And it is fair that you feel hurt. And he will be distraught for having caused it. But this is not something that Loki will ever seek for you to comfort because he fears harming you. Just as he's never sought me to comfort him."

Eira nodded. "I know part of his struggle has been making the transition to fatherhood. And I am the guilty party there, as I took Leif away."

"No, Eira. You cannot blame yourself for doing exactly what you needed to do to make Loki recognize his responsibility to you. I love my son, but I am not sure that he would have even tried to be a good father and husband had you not gone to Vanaheim. You must not fell guilt for an action that has wrought good." Frigga smoothed Leif's hair out of his face and kissed his rosy cheeks.

"Frigga, you are a healer too," Eira started. Frigga nodded. "What ails him that he is so constantly cold? I can find no way to heal him, but I worry for his well being when his whole body is always well below normal temperature. When I look into his body, he is like no being I've ever tried to heal before."

Frigga's lips set in a thin line and she let out a low huff air. "What I am about to share with you, even Loki does not know. And I would have you swear a blood oath to not repeat it." She pulled out a dagger and pricked her finger before holding the dagger out to Eira. Eira repeated the motion and offered her hand to Frigga. Frigga pressed her finger against Eira's, and Eira felt a sting of power at the contact. Frigga blinked and her eyes widened. "You are more powerful than I'd expected."

"I am a healer." Eira thought back to the enchantment on the scale from her armour. Frigga shook her head slowly.

"You are so much more, Eira. Untapped, raw potential," Frigga breathed. "Swear your oath, child. Understand that the strength of your magic will bind it tightly, and should you break it the consequence could be death."

"My magic is not that strong," Eira protested.

"It is, Eira." Frigga countered. Eira swallowed thickly, and looked at Leif. Whatever it was, it was worth the binding oath that would help her understand her husband better.

"I swear that I will not betray your trust, Allmother. And let the consequence of betrayal be the loss of my magic and ability," Eira promised. Frigga blanched.

"That will kill you, Eira," she argued.

"Then I offer it and seal it. This is my guarantee that I will not betray your trust, Frigga." Eira could feel the surge of power through her body as the oath bound itself to her, right into her bones. Frigga released her hand and took a deep breath.

"Little more than a thousand years ago, Asgard was at war with Jotunheim. It was long, drawn out, bloody. Many were lost on both sides. But finally, Odin and the forces of Asgard gained the upper hand in battle, and soon, Jotunheim fell. While Odin surveyed what was left of the ice realm, he heard a babe cry. He followed the sound, sword at the ready, sure it was a trap. Instead, he found a Jotun babe. Small. Too small to be accepted by his parents. They had abandoned him at the temple, for the cold to take him. As Odin looked at him, he changed, and took on the appearance of the Aesir. Odin was so amazed by this tiny babe, that he gathered him up and brought him home to me. Thor was still in diapers, not much older than Leif. We decided that we would raise the boys as brothers, and not tell them of Loki's heritage until it was necessary." Frigga spoke slowly, as though each word bore a weight that made it hard to speak. Eira blinked in confusion.

"Loki is not Aesir?" She was unsure she'd understood what Frigga had told her.

"Loki is Jotun," Frigga confirmed.

"Leif is half Jotun then?" Eira looked at her son's blonde curls, light eyes. He looked every inch an Aesir child. Eira reached for him and took him back to her lap. She felt his skin, but it was just as warm as hers.

"You do not seem as troubled as I feared." Frigga admired Eira's composure. Eira shrugged.

"Should I be bothered? I have seen the inner workings of his body. I should have recognized that there were elements to him that were not Aesir. I've never held to the stories that the Jotun are nothing more than monsters," Eira pressed a hand to Leif's chest and let her magic flow through him. He looked like any other Aesir, with none of the peculiar markings she'd noted in Loki's body. "My only question is why there is no sign of mixed blood in Leif."

Frigga tilted her head and laid her hand atop Eira's, doubling the force of the magic flowing through the baby. He giggled and tried to pull away, as though he was being tickled. Even with the amplified power, she couldn't see anything to suggest Leif wasn't completely Aesir.

"The night you conceived, Loki came to you in Thor's form?" Frigga asked.

"I've long wondered if Leif will look more like Thor than Loki because of it," Eira nodded.

"I think it's possible that while in disguise, Loki may have suppressed his Jotun nature. Or it may be that Leif's Jotun characteristics will not manifest until he is older." Frigga seemed as confused as Eira was.

"Tis no bother, Frigga. My love for both my boys remains unchanged with this revelation. And it may help me to understand Loki more in years to come." Eira had healed enough non-Aesir to know that each person on each realm bleed just as any other did. And if they bled the same, they likely carried the same hopes and dreams, fears and sorrows with them as well.

XXX

Loki stumbled through the Ironwood of Jotunheim, lost and beginning to feel the cold. It had taken all his will to slip from his marriage bed and leave Eira and his son behind, but he feared he would fade into nothingness if he did not. The Ironwood had been a place of refuge ever since he had first discovered the secret paths between the realms. There were few Jotun who lived in the wood, and Loki had always managed to steer clear of most of them. Except for one, who always seemed to sense when he had arrived, and would find him within his first few hours.

But today, Angrboda had not tracked him on arrival, and it had been long enough that the woods had become unfamiliar between visits. He found himself in an area of the woods that was unfamiliar. He decided that he needed to at least stop and build a fire. He was warming his hands over the flames when he sensed someone watching him, and spun around.

She was taller than he remembered, but maybe it was because she had grown. The rough pelts she wore as clothing hid a rather more womanly figure than he remembered. Her blue skin and stark red eyes always startled him the first time he saw her after being absent from the wood, but even now, he saw her jaw had changed, and her cheekbones had become more prominent. If it were possible for a Jotun woman to be beautiful, Angrboda had become just that.

"Stupid Aesir. Are you trying to call down all the wolves to let them know there is a fresh meal waiting?" She hissed at him, and kicked snow across the fire, smothering it.

"I am cold!" Loki protested.

"Then come warm yourself at my hearth, idiot," she snapped, and turned away. Loki knew better than to argue and followed behind her, chastised. He could not help but notice the swing of her hips, or the gentle curve to her waist. He shook his head and tried to banish the appreciation of her figure, feeling traitorous to Eira. He watched her feet for the rest of the walk to her hut. She held the door open and bowed mockingly as he crossed the threshold.

"Your Highness, you are once again welcome in my home," she sneered. Loki wondered what is was about him that drew her out. She certainly didn't like him much, and spent most of her time mocking his manners, appearance and lineage. Loki looked around the spare cabin and noted the absence of the rest of her family. The last time he'd been, there had been scattered evidence of a busy life, well lived. Spare boots, extra bows, arrows on the fletching jig.

"Where have your parents gone? Are they well?" Loki inquired, determined to honour the etiquette he was raised with.

"It was a cold winter," Angrboda answered.

"Is it not always winter here?" Loki laughed. "Did they find a warmer clime, then?" He couldn't imagine what would qualify as warmer on Jotunheim, but maybe there was somewhere not quite as cold.

"When supplies are scarce and the winters are cold, the old sacrifice for the young, so that the Jotun may remain strong, Loki." Angrboda's words were a riddle.

"They went without so you would survive? I am sorry for your loss, Angrboda," Loki offered. He hadn't realized like was quite so harsh on Jotunheim, and instantly regretted his earlier jest. The circumstance of Angrboda's family had never seemed particularly desperate when he'd previously visited, and she'd always insisted that they share meals with him. He felt a wave of guilt for taking from the less fortunate.

"It is no great loss. I carry their strength and spirit within me now, and we will forever be one," she shrugged. "And they were delicious."

Loki started at the comment, and then gagged. Surely she was not admitting to having eaten her parents. He stared at her, and she smiled. Her sharp, pointed teeth had seemed a curiosity before, but now they seemed more sinister, and he felt himself shrinking into his long leather coat.

"I had no idea life was so hard on Jotunheim," he admitted finally.

"And why would you, pretty prince of Asgard? You come and go as you please, never stopping to consider that the worlds you play in are filled with people living real lives," Angrboda rolled her eyes, and stepped close to Loki. She leaned in and took a deep breath, smelling him. "You smell weak. There would be shame in feasting on your bones, and no health would come to me. You are safe, boy prince." She sniffed him again, and her eyes narrowed. She leaned in close to his neck and pressed her nose to the vein running beside his Adam's apple and closed her eyes as she scented him.

Loki tried to step away, but Angrboda grabbed his arm and held him in place. She smiled, and then dragged her tongue up his neck, along the vein. "Angrboda, stop."

"You may not be good eating, Loki, but I can think of other things to do with you. Tonight you rest. You are exhausted. It had been too long since you have run in the Ironwood. Tomorrow we will make plans." She ran a finger along his jawline, and Loki flinched, and then flushed, embarrassed at the response of his body. The giantess just smiled and gestured to a bed on the far side of the cabin. "I will even give you your own bed, since you've come up shy since your last visit."


	6. Chapter 6

"Amma!" Leif threw his arms open to Halla, almost before Eira reigned in her horse. Halla reached up and took him, kissing him on the forehead and squeezing him close to her.

"Did my sweet boy miss his Amma?" Halla kissed him again and suddenly, with the changing whim of a toddler, Leif was struggling to free himself. Halla laughed and walked toward the gated garden before setting him free.

"Mother, he'll destroy the healing garden!" Eira exclaimed and started toward the havoc being wreaked by her small son. Halla put a hand out to stop Eira, shaking her head.

"All of the plants you brought back from Midgard are hearty, Eira, and have gone to seed for the season. Let him play. He can do no harm," she chastised. Eira sighed and paced to the fountain, propping herself on the ledge. Halla followed, and placed her hand on Eira's. "It has only been a few days, Eira. He will come home."

"It's been eight days, Mother," Eira sighed heavily.

"Both he and Frigga said he can sometimes be weeks," Halla reassured her.

"My courses came this morning." Eira's tone was flat. Halla squeezed her fingers and leaned over to kiss her forehead. Leif saw that kisses were being distributed and came to present himself to his mother and grandmother. They indulged him until his toddler's changeability made him wriggle free to terrorize the daisies again.

"And you were hoping –"

"I thought it we had another, with no deception this time," Eira trailed off. Halla nodded.

"He loves you, Eira. But I think it better you only have Leif," she sighed. Eira's eyes filled with tears.

"But –"

"Hear me out, child," Halla took Eira's hand in her own. "He said that this need to go off is normal for him. And Odin has no plans to release you. Midgard depends on you entirely too much as their healer. Leif needs you, and he needs a father. Another babe in the home would divide your time even further, and neither child would have the attention he deserves."

"But –"

"Eira, please. Your son is third in line to the throne of Asgard. Until his father settles and begins acting like the second in line, it would not be wise for you to add a fourth." Halla released her hand and caught Leif as he ran past her, carrying a rock. She lifted him and kissed him on the cheek. He barely tolerated it; squirming until she put him back on his feet so he could recommence running with his large rock. Eira and Halla watched him play. He would find a rock, carry it to the far side of the garden, drop it and run back. He transported rocks for most of the afternoon, only resting when he was offered a drink and snack of berries and cheese. When Eira finally lifted him into her arms to bring him back to the palace, he squirmed just for a few minutes before Fleygur's gait rocked him to sleep. She was able to change him and tuck him into his bed without waking him. A handmaid approached her not long after she settled Leif.

"The queen would see you," she spoke quietly. Eira rose, and nodded. Wordlessly, she checked on Leif and satisfied that he would be safe without her, she followed the handmaid to Frigga, who waited in the family dining room. Eira curtsied, and Frigga nodded toward a chair. A servant filled a mead cup, while another placed a meal in front of her. The smell made her mouth water, and she realized how late it was and how little she'd eaten at her mother's, so wrapped up in her sorrow about not being with child. She took a bite of meat and it was perfection. She didn't waste time tucking into the rest of the meal before her.

"It is for the best, Eira," Frigga spoke gently, as though she could read Eira's mind. Eira wasn't sure, perhaps the queen could. Her magic was of greater renown that Loki's.

"I have had many years to unburden myself of the desire for family, and yet it has never come. I always wanted children," Eira responded.

"And you have a beautiful son," Frigga reminded her. Eira's eyes flashed and her temper flared.

"Am I to be satisfied with a single child and an absentee husband?" She dropped her fork and raised an eyebrow. Frigga drew in her breath slowly.

"For now, yes. I have been patient, Eira. But you are a princess. A Valkyrie. A goddess. The wife of a prince, and the mother to one of the heirs of Asgard. You will be satisfied with the bounty that has been heaped upon you. And you will remember that both you and your husband are young. And must learn to work as a couple. When Loki comes home, I will talk with him, but for now, you must put away your sullen behaviour and be the strong woman I know you to be. Your son needs that example." Frigga took a drink and sighed. "I am sure Loki will return home soon."

XXX

Loki stared at Angrboda across the cabin, his eyes full of distrust. She had threatened him, hadn't she? He was confused. He wasn't sure if she meant to kill and eat him or seduce him. And he wasn't sure which terrified him more. He sat back against the wall on the bed.

"I am not the one who has changed, Aesir man-boy," she snarled from the other bunk across the room. "You smell like a woman. I can smell her stench from here. You need to bathe."

"I do not!" Loki protested. Angrboda was across the room in an instant, and pushed him down onto the bed. She pulled his coat open, running her sharp nail down the centre of his chest. Her nose followed the finger, and she breathed in deeply. She gagged and pushed back to her heels, kneeling across his lap.

"You reek of her. Who is she?" If it was possible for her brow to furrow, Angrboda's brow had. Loki sighed, knowing it was better just to tell her. His past experiences on Jotunheim had proven that the giantess was relentless in the pursuit of information. He'd thought it was harmless when they were playing games in the Ironwood, when he showed off his magic ability. It wasn't so harmless when she had him pinned to a bed and her teeth were gleaming.

"My wife." Loki pulled his open coat closed as much as he could. "A man is allowed to smell of his wife." He shoved at Angrboda and she was so surprised she let him push her off his lap.

"You married? Why would you do that?" Angrboda was stunned.

"I fell in love. Why wouldn't I?" Loki asked, just as confused as Angrboda appeared. Her shoulders rolled in, and she dropped her head to her hands. When she looked back up, there were tears in her eyes.

"But you were mine, stupid Aesir," she protested.

"I've never been yours," Loki retorted.

"My parents are gone. I took them to be strong for you. So you could but a babe in my belly. So we could start our family." Angrboda looked wildly around the room at the few mementos of her parent's lives. Loki scrambled to his feet, and hedged toward the door. She bolted across the room and blocked his exit. "No! No! You are mine, Loki Odinsson! You belong to me! This wife, she loves you? She has loved you since you were children? I have! Since your first visit to the Ironwood, Loki, I have loved you. Everything I have done has been to prepare for our family."

"I have never given you a reason to think I would settle with you. You're Jotun! You're a monster!" Loki exclaimed.

"Who is the monster? The girl who shared her home, her family, or the boy who arrived and stole her heart, only to tear it out and stomp on it?" Angrboda shrieked. "You told me I was your best friend! You told me you loved me!"

"As a brother loves a sister, Boda!" Loki protested, but it was too late. Angrboda grabbed him by the throat and pressed him into the wall of the cabin. She licked his cheek, then forced her mouth on his. She brought her tall body against him, pressing her hips against his, sliding her hand against his thigh and across to his crotch. Loki gasped, and Angrboda slid her tongue between his lips.

"Your body doesn't call me sister," she whispered huskily against his mouth. Loki closed his eyes and willed himself to not respond, but Angrboda had truly become a woman in his absence, and knew exactly how to touch a man to elicit a response. "You can have your Aesir wife, Loki. She can stay in Asgard, and give the Allfather heirs to his throne. But you will always belong to me."

XXX

Eira sat up in bed, uncertain what had wakened her. Despite that, she began to get out of bed and get ready to ride to Valkyrjahús. She checked on Leif, and seeing he was sleeping soundly, tiptoed out of his room. She slipped from their rooms and headed toward the stable. Fandral was saddling his horse when she arrived.

"What is calling you away?" Eira asked, her voice still gravelly from sleep.

"I suspect the same thing as you. War on Vanaheim. Hogun called for Thor earlier, and Volstagg and I are just readying ourselves to follow now. Perhaps we should have made haste, if you are already being called to duty," Fandral replied. Eira rubbed the sleep from her eyes and saddled Fleygur.

"Ride with me to Valkyrjahús, and we will know more. Bryn will have spoken to Heimdall, and will know what we are headed for," Eira suggested. Fandral nodded.

"I doubt he will open the Bifrost for us until you are there. Let's ride." He mounted up and kicked his heels into his horse, urging her forward. Eira finished saddling Fleygur quickly, and followed. They rode toward the longhouse quickly, without a word between them, and Fandral allowed her the lead as they drew up to the building. She dismounted and entered, gesturing for him to wait.

"Bryn, what is the word? Fandral rode with me. He says it is war on Vanaheim?" Eira asked. Bryn nodded, pulling her arming tunic over her head.

"The Jotun invaded. Heimdall says he can't see what prompted it." Bryn strapped her leg armour on. "Tell Fandral to be careful. The Jotun have the power of the ice, and can form weapons from thin air." Eira nodded and stepped back into the night.

"It's a Jotun invasion. Please be careful." Eira felt tears fill her eyes, and dashed them away. Fandral stepped closer and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Those tears are not for me, my goddess. What troubles you?" He asked. Eira sighed and looked away.

"Loki has been gone for weeks, I know not where. And now there is war. He could be in danger," Eira wiped her eyes again. Fandral drew her into his arms, and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

"Loki is a strong fighter. And a better tactician. He will not be in danger, Eira. You must focus on keeping yourself safe. The Vanir will have want of a healer tonight," Fandral reassured her. "Now go arm, and stand ready with your sisters. I will see you at the Bifrost."

Eira returned to the house and began arming. Most of the other Valkyries were almost ready, but a few lagged behind. And Eira had always maintained her armour well enough that she could arm quickly. She was only a moment behind the slowest, and was up on Fleygur before the last of the women had saddled their mounts. They rode hard to the Bifrost and Fandral winked when she rode alongside him.

"If you need protection when you are about your healing, I will stay with you, Eira." He urged his mount to the front of the group, and waited with Volstagg for the Bifrost to open. Kara nudged between Eira and Bryn and elbowed Eira.

"What was that about, litla systir?" Her eyebrow arched and she shot a meaningful glance toward Fandral.

"He worries that I am distracted because Loki is still not home," Eira offered.

"Is that all? He never offered to protect me." Kara kicked the side of her horse as the Bifrost opened and they rode across the rainbow bridge to Vanaheim. Eira followed, confused by Kara's suggestion.

They landed far from the battle, and rode hard toward the noise. When they came upon the war field, there was confusion all around. Thor and Hogun were at the centre of the battle and Volstagg and Fandral were fighting their way toward them. Eira caught sight of Sif cornered by three Jotun warriors and worried that the woman was done for. But with one swing of the double bladed sword she usually wielded, she struck down all three of them, and made her way back to her usual shieldbrothers. Eira watched in stunned silence. Every wave of Jotun that the Vanir hewed down was replaced with another, and another, the bodies of the Jotun crumbling like so much ice as they were struck.

Freya rode up to Bryn and Eira, as she often did when they were waiting.

"I'm not sending a lot of Jotun souls that will be carried tonight," she commented.

"No. Neither am I," Bryn admitted. "Eira?" Eira closed her eyes and cast her magic across the field. It was a spell she had been working on, secretly, for months. It would heal the least wounded, but make them sleep, calming the battle sooner. She'd been sure to keep it weak enough that it would not affect what the Norns had dictated for the battle, but it helped her to triage the wounded when the spell bounced back to her, as it gave her an idea of how much work she had, and what kind of wounds were still out there. But it was a spell that required concentration as it went out, and she focused on it with all her ability.

What returned to her was stunning.

"There are only four Jotun out there," Eira breathed. Freya and Bryn's heads whipped over to look at her.

"What?" It was in unison. Had it not been for the circumstance, Eira would have laughed.

"There are only four Jotun out there. Each wave is an illusion. It's shadow magic." Eira was astonished. She closed her eyes and sent out another wave of magic, seeking the shadowmage. Her magic hit a barrier spell and pushed back hard enough that she rocked in the saddle. Her eyes snapped open. She tasted licorice in the back of her throat. "No." The word was barely a whisper.

"No what?" Bryn demanded. Eira kicked Fleygur's haunches, urging him forward into the battle. "Eira, you're mad! What do you think you are doing?"

"I must speak to Thor!" Eira called back and continued forward into the battle. She struck down every warrior that came at her with reckless barrier spells. When she got close to Thor, she threw herself off Fleygur and slapped his haunches "Back to Bryn!" Fleygur didn't wait to be told a second time, and reeled back toward the leader of the Valkyries. Eira ran to the centre of the warriors three and cast a barrier spell over them, Sif and Thor. Jotun warriors started bouncing off the shield, and the white noise of the battle fell away, leaving them in silence. Thor turned around, puzzled. When his eyes lit on Eira he fell back a step.

"Sister! Are you a fool?"

"Thor, I must have words with you!" Eira pulled him away from the other fighters, and pulled his head down to hers. "There are only four Jotun out there. The rest is illusion."

"That's not possible. The Jotun don't have any shadowmages, Eira." Thor glanced around and watched as the Jotun bounced off the barrier spell and vanished.

"When I cast to feel the souls of the dead and dying, I felt no Jotun. And then I cast again, and ran into a strong barrier. It left a taste of licorice in my throat." Eira wasn't sure if Thor would understand the significance of the statement. He stared at her blankly, confirming her suspicion. "Loki's magic smells and tastes of licorice, Thor."

Thor pushed her away, his brow furrowed in confusion. "Do you suggest that this is Loki's work?"

"Do you think I want to? Thor, he is my husband! But he has been gone for weeks now. With no word. And now, in this battle on Vanaheim, I can taste his magic everywhere!" Eira exclaimed.

"Perhaps you miss him so much that –"

"If that were so, I would smell him in our rooms, taste his magic whenever I was around his belongings. But that is not so. This has Loki's magical signature, Thor. I don't know why, but he is here." Eira shook her head, her eyes filling with tears. She could feel her barrier spell weakening and knew she had to muster something catastrophic to counter the Jotun barrier spell and convince Thor that Loki was there. She feared he was being forced to participate against his will. "I need to draw from your magic."

"I don't have magic, Eira." Thor shook his head. Eira rolled her eyes.

"Both your mother and father are sorcerers, Thor. You have magic. You have chosen a warriors path." Eira grabbed Thor's hand and pulled from him. When she felt the crackle of electricity that she knew accompanied Mjolnir at times, she forced a strong spell from her. She really only knew healing magic, but so much of it could be altered. She drew from as deep as she could from herself, the spell flying from her free hand out across the battlefield. The Jotun barrier fell. And then, the illusionary spells dropped. Finally, the haze preventing anyone from seeing the Jotun front line fell away. Eira looked across the warfield, and with the keen vision gifted to the Valkyries, she saw her husband.

He was smiling, holding hands with a Jotun woman. There were two other Jotun with them. She saw Loki take a deep breath, and the smile fell from his face. His eyes narrowed and he looked around, trying to find her. Finally, he focused his gaze at Eira and the warriors surrounding her. They widened when he saw her, his face flushing. He dropped the hand of the woman beside him and turned, his coat kicking out in a circle behind him. With a wave of his hand, Loki and his entourage vanished.

"Oh Loki." Eira wanted to cry. She dropped Thor's hand and made her way slowly back toward the Valkyries. Bryn was standing beside her horse, holding Fleygur's reins.

"What did you do, Eira?" Freya demanded. "There are no dead."

"Then there were not intended to be. This battle was not chosen by the Norns, so no men should have died." Eira stepped up onto Fleygur's back and rode toward the Bifrost site without another word.

"But the wounded, Eira?" Bryn called.

"The Vanir are remarkable healers. They don't need the likes of me." She kicked Fleygur to a gallop. When she arrived at the Bifrost site, she called to Heimdall. "I'm sure you saw all that. Heimdall, please bring me home."

The Bifrost opened and transported her back to Asgard. She didn't bother riding to Valkyrjahús to stow her armour, but headed straight to the palace. She handed the care of Fleygur off to a groom, something she never did, and made her way to her rooms. The handmaid watching over Leif shrieked when she walked in. Eira dismissed her with a wave, and starting pulling off armour, letting it fall where it may. Once she was down to her arming shift and pants, she went into Leif's room. She smoothed his soft red hair, and lifted him to her chest. He snuggled against her and sucked his fingers. She leaned back in the comfortable chair in the room and let the silent tears of betrayal fall.


End file.
